What I Mean When I Say "Finding Your Voice."

Therapy is not advice it's a process.

Therapy is about helping people find their voice. It's not just a nice phrase. It's the thing I watch happen with the people I work with.

Here's what I mean by it.

Somewhere along the way you may have been through a hard relationship, a loss, in a role you never asked for, and years of putting everyone else first. You may quietly stop trusting your own judgement and begin to second-guess yourself. You go along with what's easier. You forget what you think, want, or feel underneath it.

It's usually done as a survival strategy, and it works for a while. But it can come at a cost. For some it can be resentment tied to what you say doesn't matter, a loss of yourself, and who you truly are.

Finding your voice again doesn't mean becoming someone new. It often means realizing you're no longer willing to do things the way you used to. It takes to stand up for yourself, to say what's true even when it's uncomfortable, and to stop tolerating people or situations that make you feel small.

Let's be honest you didn't get here overnight, and things aren't going to get better overnight either. It's a process. In this process I won't tell you who to be. That's not how therapy works. I will walk alongside you as your journey in therapy unfolds. What stays present is the curiosity and collaboration in the work.

Nearly 30 years in the field and what moves me most is the unfolding transformation of who my clients become. They may not end up where they thought they "should" be and the path is rarely straight, and that to me, is the beauty of this work.

If that's the season you're in, I'd be glad to help you find your voice.